


unsteady

by lipsstainedbloodred



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 14:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10969002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lipsstainedbloodred/pseuds/lipsstainedbloodred
Summary: Andrew and Neil get into an argument and Neil has a panic attack.





	unsteady

**Author's Note:**

> for the prompt from anon: Ok I just had 2 share this w someone but like what if when Andrew and Neil have like a rlly big fight and they're kinda not talking and stuff, Neil has a panic attack (when he's alone I guess) and to calm himself down he says "stop it" and puts his own hand on the back of his neck while he's crouched on the floor like Andrew would if he were there and they weren't fighting. And what if Andrew walks in on that and his heart kinda,,,, breaks a lil
> 
> you can follow me @cigarettesmokeandexyracquets on tumblr

Most things of significance happened on the rooftop. Their first kiss, the first time Andrew acknowledged he felt something for Neil, and unfortunately, their first big fight. Looking back on it, Neil wasn’t even sure what the fight had been about, only that it had ended with Andrew walking away. 

That had been three days ago.

In that time Neil had tried to apologize, but his words fell on seemingly deaf ears. On his second attempt at an apology Andrew had said, “Do you even know what your apologizing for Josten?” They were the only words Andrew had said to him in two days, and the last time he’d spoken to Neil since.

But the answer to that question was no. Neil didn’t know what he was apologizing for, only that he’d done something that required an apology. 

Neil had been on edge since Christmas, waking up on most mornings with the ghost weight of cuffs snapped on his wrists. It took him hours to shake off the lingering dredges of nightmares, and after that he was just left empty. Andrew had always been able to help with this, but since the fight he hadn’t been back to the dorm. Neil assumed he was staying with Coach, but he just as easily could have taken to sleeping on Betsy’s couch. 

Neil woke up on the fourth day in a cold sweat, the phantom weight of his father’s axe at his throat and Lola’s hands on his legs. He tries to focus on the sound of Kevin’s snoring, but panic has his heart in a death grip and his chest feels like it’s caving in. It takes him several minutes to convince himself he can move, and even longer to climb out of bed and into the bathroom. 

He avoids looking at himself in the mirror as he passes, and turns the shower on. 

-

That’s where Andrew finds him, thirty minutes later, crouched down in the corner of the shower with his clothes still on, drenched in cold water with his head pressed to his knees and hand on the back of his neck. When Andrew turns the shower off he can hear Neil muttering “stop it” to himself over and over.

Andrew inhaled sharply through his nose and his jaw clenched. He left to get a set of dry clothes from Neil’s dresser and when he came back Neil hadn’t moved. “Abram,” Andrew said.

Neil’s voice cut off abruptly, but he didn’t move.

Andrew pulled a towel out from under the sink and crouched down an arm’s length away from Neil. “Abram I have to know if I can touch you,” He said. He needed to get Neil dry, but refused to touch Neil if he wouldn’t allow it.

Neil was quiet for a beat before he whispered, “Okay.” 

Andrew pried Neil’s hand off of the back of his neck and replaced it with one of his own. He straightened out Neil’s legs and pulled his head up, brushing wet hair away from eyes out of habit. Neil wouldn’t look at him.

Neil’s teeth were chattering and he was shaking hard in Andrew’s grip. “You’re going to give yourself pneumonia.” Andrew muttered, peeling off Neil’s clothes and wrapping him in a towel.

It took a great deal more effort to get Neil out of the shower and into dry clothes, but by the time he had, Neil’s shaking had subsided into just mild tremors. 

When Neil was fully clothed again and dry, Andrew pulled him into his lap. Neil let out a small, shocked sound but Andrew ignored it. He put one hand on Neil’s neck and the other in between his shoulder blades. “You’re okay,” Andrew said, his thumb tickling the back of Neil’s neck, “This is okay.”

At that, Neil slumped into Andrew, his face against Andrew’s shoulder and hands trapped between their torsos. “Sorry,” Neil mumbled and Andrew grunted.

“Shut up.” He said, but without venom. “You want to tell me why you were trying to give yourself hypothermia?”

“I don’t know,” Neil replied, “Had a nightmare, so I tried to take a shower. Don’t remember the rest.”

Andrew’s grip on Neil tightened for a second before he relaxed it again. 

“Where were you?” Neil asked.

Andrew’s hand ran soothingly down Neil’s spine once before resting between his shoulder blades again. “At Bee’s,” He said.

It was quiet again for a long time. Neil’s heartbeat finally slowed and his breathing evened back out. Andrew prepared himself to let go, so Neil could go back to sleep, but then Neil whispered, “Don’t leave.”

Andrew’s jaw clenched and he swallowed hard, “I’m not going anywhere.”

When Kevin found them the next morning, both bean bag chairs pushed together and Neil with his head on Andrew’s chest, he said nothing and simply handed Andrew a cup of coffee.


End file.
